The Mother as a Role Model / (Had she not given it, it would have been recorded as a lie)

    The Mother as a Role Model / (Had she not given it, it would have been recorded as a lie)   The mother who called her son to give him something was previously mentioned. The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) asked her what she intended to give him. She said: "A date." He said: "Had you not given it to him, it would have been written down as a lie." When a mother lies to her son, she gives him a license to believe that lying is permissible, no matter how much she talks to him afterwards about the sanctity of truth or that lying is a bad habit that should be avoided. Indeed, actions speak louder than words. A child notices, understands, and knows when parents do something and say another. A mother may tell her child not to do something, and he may respond by saying: "But you did the same thing!" We must be disciplined in front of our children, especially in every word we utter and every gesture we make. A child easily picks up what his parents convey verbally and learns morals, whether consciously or subconsciously, from those he loves, especially his parents. A child also does not understand duplicity or hypocrisy. There's a famous incident when a father's friend asked to meet him, and the father, not wanting to meet him, told his son to say he was not present. The child then told the friend: "My father says he is not here!" The values we talk about, if we do not embody them in our manners, have them in our character, and try not to contradict them, will result in a child growing up lacking them, even if we talk about them day and night. Self-reform to become a good example is a duty of every mother, in particular, so that her son and daughter learn noble morals through actions and traits, not just words and speech. Words may enter one ear and exit the other. Therefore, a mother's life must be as she wishes it to be so that her children grow up righteous. Children learn by habit and getting used to something more than by words. A mother who is consistent in performing the prescribed prayers on time and does not delay them will raise her children to do the same. A mother who mentions Allah upon entering the house and says "Peace, mercy, and blessings of Allah be upon you" to those at home upon entry, and says the prayer for leaving the house when she leaves, which is "In the name of Allah, I rely on Allah, there is no strength except with Allah. O Allah, I seek refuge with You from leading or being led astray, from demeaning or being demeaned, from doing injustice or being treated unjustly, from behaving ignorantly or having ignorance done to me" - her children will undoubtedly learn these things without her having to say or advise them. Maintaining the remembrance of Allah and the prayers narrated from the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) protects a person and keeps them safe from Satan, as well as keeps them in constant connection with Allah, who will be their helper and supporter. Similarly, maintaining various Islamic etiquettes, such as mentioning Allah's name before eating (saying Bismillah), giving thanks after eating by saying "Praise be to Allah who has fed us, given us drink, and made us Muslims," and eating with the right hand, of course. When parents do these things naturally and get used to them, the children will directly acquire them without effort or advice.
A mother who mentions Allah upon entering the house and says "Peace, mercy, and blessings of Allah be upon you" to those at home upon entry, and says the prayer for leaving the house when she leaves, which is "In the name of Allah, I rely on Allah, there is no strength except with Allah. O Allah, I seek refuge with You from leading or being led astray, from demeaning or being demeaned, from doing injustice or being treated unjustly, from behaving ignorantly or having ignorance done to me" - her children will undoubtedly learn these things without her having to say or advise them. Maintaining the remembrance of Allah and the prayers narrated from the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) protects a person and keeps them safe from Satan, as well as keeps them in constant connection with Allah, who will be their helper and supporter. Similarly, maintaining various Islamic etiquettes, such as mentioning Allah's name before eating (saying Bismillah), giving thanks after eating by saying "Praise be to Allah who has fed us, given us drink, and made us Muslims," and eating with the right hand, of course. When parents do these things naturally and get used to them, the children will directly acquire them without effort or advice. Indeed, such habits, when acquired through repetition, are very difficult for children to pick up in adulthood if they have not become accustomed to them in childhood. Similarly, a mother who holds the Book of Allah (the Holy Quran) and recites from it when she is free from her household duties will raise her children to love the Book of Allah. Every mother should try to be a righteous role model for her children and an example to be followed for good, and not fall short in that. She should strive against her soul, for Allah is her guide, if Allah wills, to the right path. Allah Almighty says, "Those who strive for Us, We will surely guide them to Our paths. And indeed, Allah is with the doers of good." This does not, of course, prevent from advising and guiding the children, because while being a role model is important, it is not sufficient. Allah Almighty says, "And remind, for indeed, the reminder benefits the believers." The Holy Quran gives us many examples of parents who advise their children. Allah Almighty says, "And [mention, O Muhammad], when Luqman said to his son while he was advising him, 'O my son, do not associate [anything] with Allah. Indeed, association [with him] is great injustice.'" And other verses where he advises him with noble and great teachings that every father and mother should teach their children. And Allah says, "Or were you witnesses when death approached Jacob, when he said to his sons, 'What will you worship after me?' They said, 'We will worship your God and the God of your fathers, Abraham and Ishmael and Isaac, one God. And we are Muslims [in submission] to Him.'" It is not just the children's worldly matters that parents should recommend, but rather the important before the less important. Many people advise their children in critical times to take care of themselves and their money and to beware of losing their possessions, but they forget to advise them to obedience, faith, maintaining prayers, being conscientious, and following the truth. Source/ Adapted from the book, The Psychology of the Ideal Mother, by the author Adel Fathi Abdullah, 2017

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